come back to me

its still only just sinking in. you are gone. completely out of my life and there is nothing, nothing in this whole world i could do to bring you back to me, to us. i miss you so much it gets me every single night.

changing

i know you're lying, you're lying to me and everyone. you're not okay, its obvious i just wish you would admit it and let me help you.

i love you so much

camping wasn't nearly the same without you. i almost cried myself to sleep every night we were there and being at the wedding wasn't much better. seeing alyssa walk down the isle, her dad giving her away to her new husband to be, having her dad stand up at the reception and talk about when she was little, what a blessing she is, how proud of her he is and how he loves her. knowing i will never have that moment. i miss you and love you an unbelievable amount, unconditionally. i would do anything to have you back with us, we need you. i need  you, its not the same without you! every girl needs her dad ...

whats happening!

you - "hey babe, whatr you doing today?"  me- "nothing planned, wbu? i miss you!"  you- "kay sweet your hanging with me! mount? be round soon!"  two and a half hours later you arrive, you got "caught up" talking to our youth leader- your friend about your ex. again. you had to take your exs brother to get his lunch? you ditch me after a few hours saying your "tired" to go hang out with your sister! we are meant to be close, somethings changed,  you'v changed and i dont like it, not one bit! being with the other girls lately has made me realise something, why i have so much fun with them. they dont care about what they look like, how skinny they are, how their face and hair looks. they'r not afraid to eat what they like, when they like. they dont let stupid boys stop them from having fun. you think your still heartbroken about your boyfriend leaving you 5 months ago? in that time iv had my dad die, iv been engaged and dumped a week later! you have no idea what im going through. its made me realise whats important in life and what isn't. get over it and start living, accept the facts because you'v changed and i don't like it one bit.

for the first time in 17 years we hung out, we went out. we drank, we danced we ran around, we had fun. us three, the originals. i loved every bit of it. i love you girls, you are amazing. thankyou for making my new years.