i misssed you today. i miss you every day but today especially. we had dinner at the same place as last year tonight, i was okay all day up untill then. sitting at the table i couldn't help but stare at the space where i last saw you here. lying on the two seater couch, both legs hanging off the armrest with yet another beer in your hand. singing christmas carols that you hated while swinging your feet. you were happy. we would always sit together, have our "looks", our "jokes", our conversations that no-one else understood. we got eachother. we would joke and laugh at everything, making the dullest time halarious. we were both happy. but today? you weren't there. sitting at the table today i couldn't help but stare at the space where i last saw you here. tears in my eyes i had to move outside, i couldn't take it. its too soon. this shouldn't be happening, not to us. i miss you dad i miss our laughs, our jokes, the way we had the same sense of humour that no-one else understood. i went through today holding back tears and at that moment i couldn't stop them. i missed you today. i miss you every day but today especially.